#68 - It's good to help

Kiva is a crowd-sourced funding site that I had learned about from my sister Diana.  I must admit that I find crowd-sourcing intriguing.  I am a big user of Kickstarter and will occasionally contribute to Indiegogo campaigns.  However, I'm not a user of Gofundme.  If you are familiar with these sites, you will know that although you may get something back from your contribution (for example, a product or t-shirt), the funds that are received by people through the sites are not expected to be repaid in dollars.

Kiva works a little differently.  When you make a contribution, you are actually helping to fund a microloan which the recipient is expected to repay (the interest, repayment schedule, and other details vary from one loan to the next).  When the loan is repaid, the money goes into a Kiva account for you which you can use to fund another project or request to have the funds put into your bank account.  In effect, you become a very small lending institution with all of the paperwork handled behind the scenes.

For this goal, I decided that I would donate / loan $100 as a starting point.  (I use the term donate because when the loans are repaid, I plan to keep the money going back out to other projects.)  Over the last week, I've been looking at projects and chose four for funding at a $25 apiece level.  I wanted to spread the money around, so I managed to find a mix of projects and areas of the world where I can help.  My first four loans went to:

• purchasing a water pump and filtration system for a school in Uganda so that the students and teachers would have access to drinking water during the school day
• helping a group of five women in India expand their individual businesses that pay for each family's living expenses
• buying basic tools for a trained blacksmith in Palestine so he can set up his own forge as a second source of income 
• allowing a restaurant in Haiti to add small food carts that will create additional jobs in the community

Searching for projects was a big reminder of how fortunate I am.  Though it was tempting to fund campaigns that would make a family's life more comfortable (through simple things like financing a latrine for their dwelling), I tried to find projects that had the potential to create something positive for the entire community where they were located.  I look forward to seeing how the process continues and sending the money out again on additional loans.

#78 & #83 - Feeling thankful for what I have

The combination of these two goals plus the previous one that I posted on has made me stop to consider how fortunate I am. It's so easy to get caught up in drama of one thing or another and feel like life is out of control.  It's harder to take a step back and appreciate what you already have.

Giving compliments to other people is not something that comes easily to me.  I might notice that a certain color makes someone look fabulous or see a positive action that a friend does with no thought of repayment; however, I often don't take the step of verbalizing those reflections.  This is something that I am trying to be more mindful about as I think it makes the world a better, happier place.  On the flip side, I am equally bad at receiving compliments and am trying to be more graceful about my reception of them.

The 30 Day Facebook Photo Challenge is a list of items to post once per day for a month.  I'm not quite sure why I chose to include this when I was making up my goal list.  I think that it is usually geared more towards people who have casual acquaintances as Facebook friends; however, the majority of mine are people that I know fairly well.  So, the challenge for me became more introspective - thinking each day of the topic and how it related to me.  Some of my challenge answers were a bit harder to transfer into photos than others - an example: something you wish you could change - my answer was bullying.  (Sidenote: this answer was in part inspired because of some recent events in my life that brought home that bullying doesn't just stop when you get out of school - as bullies age, those who don't change their ways just change their tactics).  Other challenge answers were hard to narrow down to one photo - an example: somewhere you'd love to travel - yeah, I put up a photo of the pyramids, but I'd love to go lots of places.

The last day of the challenge was the one that really made me appreciate my life ... a photo of someone you miss.  I miss my grandma (and my grandpa too), but I am so lucky to have my parents, my siblings, my friends, my nieces and nephews (an ever-expanding crew), and so many other people in my life.  Many people that I know do not have that luxury - there are gaps and holes that will never be refilled in their circle.  I know that those gaps will come to me in time as well, but, today, I appreciate all that is there for me right now.

#34 - Less complaining

If you have read my blog since I started doing DayZero, you may recognize this goal from my first 101 list - Don't Complain about Anything for a Week.  My first experience was such an interesting lesson in being mindful about my words that I wanted to try it again - you can read the first post here.

The experience was different this time, but I learned some equally valuable lessons.  I did find it encouraging that this time around I only needed to start the week over twice (as opposed to three starts last time).  However, I feel like I made a lot more borderline comments this time around.  And, due to the restarts, I ended up having a significant portion of the complaint-free period occur when I was not at work - which lowered the bar significantly.

The biggest change was where I felt the seeds of complaints starting from.  Last time, I noticed how many negative comments I hear randomly (often about things that I have no control over) during the course of my day.  This time, I heard the negativity inside myself.  My inner critic has certainly been quite vocal recently - telling me all of the things that I am doing wrong myself, worrying over stuff that I can't change, and generally crabbing about the minor inconveniences of any particular day.  I know that negative inside voice has been getting louder for various reasons - stress and burnout at work, frustrations with a plateau in my weight loss strategy, etc. - but taking the time to listen to what I say and how I express it for a week showed me that I am not very happy with what's happening in my life right now.

At the same time that I was making this discovery, one of my friends posted something on Facebook (thanks, Thad!) that helped me stop and think about one of the areas that I generally criticize myself on fairly severely - my appearance.  Take a look at this great video that he posted of Amanda Trusty dancing (note that it is burlesque, the clothes come off); I am inspired by this woman's courage in freeing herself of the labels that come along with not being society's ideal image.  And, I think she looks great!



It was a great reminder that all of those critical thoughts that I hear when I look in the mirror aren't necessarily what everyone else is thinking when they see me.  In fact, I challenged myself to go glamorous for Halloween this year and received tons of positive feedback on how great I looked.  I tried to find a shots for before/after to add to this blog post and realized that I have been so uncomfortable with my weight that it has been quite a long time since I've allowed anyone to take a photo of me that I could use as a "before", so you're only going to get the after ...

How I look now (the glamour version)

I'm not where I want to be with my weight, but I'm telling myself that I've come a long way and need to recognize that and shut up that little voice that says "but you haven't lost any more in the last two months".  And, I need to take a look at some of the other areas of my life that I'm criticizing myself for and decide on steps to make myself either happier or more accepting of what is happening in those areas so I don't drive myself nuts.  It's easy to complain; it's harder to change ... but I think the changes will make me a lot happier in the long run.

#40 - Kickstarter

I discovered the Kickstarter community about a year ago and was instantly addicted.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the concept ... the Kickstarter site allows individuals to help fund projects that they are interested in.  First, a person with a project writes a campaign pitch and posts it on the site.  Then, people from all over the world can contribute if they desire to help the project succeed.  If the pitch does not raise a specific amount of money in the time frame, none of the contributions are given to the project.  If the monetary pledge goal is met or exceeded, all backers are automatically charged for their pledge.  Often, backers receive some sort of incentive based on their level of support to the project.

I first heard about Kickstarter through a game company that I follow - Looney Labs.  They were doing a campaign to make a better version of one of their games.  I started looking through the site and found MANY campaigns that looked interesting.  Over the past year, I've mostly been supporting gaming campaigns (and have gotten an advance line on some great new games as a result) with a few publishing, food, and design projects in the mix.

The site uses a wheel graphic to show what sort of campaigns you have supported, and when I was writing this set of DayZero goals, I decided it would be fun to fill all the colors in on my personal wheel with a donation in each category.  Today, I pledged to my last two unfilled categories: dance: supporting a non-profit dance program for children with physical disabilities and film: where I'm backing a short animated film about Tesla (the inventor).  Although neither campaign has ended yet, both are above their minimum funding levels, so I am confident that they will go forward.

Kickstarter is a lot of fun.  Even if you don't choose to fund a project, it's a great way of seeing ideas that people are working on.  I usually can't afford the design or technology category projects at the level to get the incentive level I'd like, but some of them are fabulous things.  Also, if you are interested in the arts, there are many projects in those categories that may spark interesting ideas for your own work.  Plus, there are a few great humanitarian ideas mixed in as well - one of the projects I supported early this year was building a remoter controlled sensor to find forgotten active landmines in previously war-torn areas.  Take a look at what's out there ...

#62 - Having my palm read

It's always interesting to guess what the future holds.  Equally interesting is to gain some new insights into one's own personality.  This weekend, I decided to try something that might have both of these aspects - I had my palm read.

My sister, Janet, and I were at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival (more on that in the next post), and I asked her if she was interested in stopping at one of the astrology booths for fun.   She agreed, and we both had our palms read by the same woman.  The process was quite interesting ... both hands examined at once, only the palms (not the back or the fingers), and words washing over us at an incredible speed.  I will leave Janet's reading private to her and only comment on my own.

One of the spot on comments that she made was that, in the last 5-6 years, I have experienced a lot of turmoil in my job, and it has drained me emotionally to the point of threatening my health.  Sadly, this is true; I am working to keep a better balance between work and personal life because of it.  An off-base comment was that I had experienced a great loss or traumatic event when I was 11-12.  While I did have my share of ups and downs growing up, they were all what I would consider normal events.  Also something that didn't happen ... a romantic relationship in my mid20s that changed me.  My mid20s were devoted to finishing graduate school and starting my career; I didn't have much time or inclination for romance at that point.

The most interesting thing she said (multiple times) was that I have a very strong psychic sense and that I am probably using it in my daily life even if I'm not aware of that fact.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  The only thing that I could think of in my job that might match is my skill at giving book recommendations to people.  However, I mentioned this to a friend today, and she said that she thought I was very intuitive and good at reading people.

So, an interlude that gave me something to think on ... even if I'm not sure how much I believe it ...

#57 - "I couldn't have been more surprised if a zebra would have knocked on my door!"

My friend Annette has a business that I sometimes envy (like 9 months out of the year).  During that period of the year, she spends her time making art out of pressed flowers.  Here's one of her designs ...

A Morning Glory Creation

In the summer months, she travels to art fairs around the state selling her work.  That part I don't envy at all as it involves things like making small talk to hundreds of people in a day and sleeping in her van with all of her stock.  Sometimes the weather is beautiful, but there are storms and incredibly hot days to deal with as well.

This past weekend, she was selling at a festival which is in the town where we both live - a nice change for her since it means for that weekend she can go home to her own house for the night.  The weather on Saturday was not pleasant.  I had my woodstove going for much of the day in my house since it was rainy and in the low 50 degrees - not normal for the end of July at all!  Guessing that sales might not be the greatest in these circumstances and thinking that she might like a nice surprise, I went online to order her some flowers for delivery in a few days.

She did figure out (by process of elimination) that the flowers came from me, and I got to hear the whole story of their arrival.  The quote in the title of this post is her response.  She was sure that the driver had the wrong house, and the flowers were meant for her neighbor.  And, she told me that she didn't EVER remember having flowers delivered to her in the past.  I am so happy that they came at a good time to cheer her up.

#17 - Keeping the post office in business

Most of my nephews and nieces are now past their college days, but, as part of their high school graduation gift, I gave each of them a "cookie of the month" club with the baking supplied by myself for their first year in college.  (Still working on the nephew who took a break year between high school and college and is living at home).  I heard that these monthly shipments were much appreciated (by roommates as well) and made going to collect mail a lot more fun.  I haven't done as well in keeping the packages coming after that first year though ... for various reasons.  So this goal was to find a reason to send something to each of my nieces and nephews over the 1001 days.  I mailed out the last two packages today ...

Simple "ye olde" style shirt made for Mike.

Some of the packages, including the two that went out today, were filled mostly with baked goods.  Others were more specific to something happening at the time.  My nephew, Jason, received traditional housewarming items since he and his wife had just purchased their first home.  Two other nephews indicated that they would like costume pieces ... which I made for them.  My niece, Ciera, is outgrowing the age of dolls; however, at the beginning of this project, she was still interested in American Girl dolls.  My dad had made her bunk beds (with my Mom adding sheets and pillows) sized for her collection, so I made coverlets that could go along with them.

Musketeer tunic made for Dan.

I realized yesterday as I packed up the boxes that perhaps for my next set of goals I need to send care packages to my siblings.  After all, as the youngest, I was the one who got goodies from them as I went through school and off into the world.  It seems only fair that I acknowledge their kindness.  In that spirit, I also sent off a box of cookies to one of my brothers today as well; I hope it makes him smile.

Doll afghans for Ciera.

#58 - Operation Baking Gals

This time of year, I tend to go a little overboard with baking cookies.  It's become something of a start of the holiday season ritual for me.  I make a list of the types of cookies I plan to make that year, go shopping for such things as a case of butter (36 pounds for those of you who have never had reason to buy butter in quantity), and spend the better part of a week and a half in my kitchen baking.

Most of what I make goes onto trays that I give to friends and co-workers.  Since I work for a local government, this leads to such interesting things occurring as an "official" email going out saying the cookies have arrived at the city offices and the fact that I am one of a very select group of people who actually receives a Christmas card from my local public works department (how many of you can say that?!).  I set aside a few of the more interesting types to go along with me to my family's celebration.  And there are some plates that I take in to work to just hand out to people who look like their day is overwhelming them and perhaps some cookies would help.

However, there is another batch of cookies that I save to mail off to troops serving overseas.  I belong to an organization called Operation Baking Gals - yes, it is gender-inclusive despite the name - that tries to bring a little taste of home baking to the military serving overseas.  While I only participate in the winter months, there are rounds of baking going on all year.  It is more personalized than many of the other programs I've seen where you write to "any serviceperson".  There are individual teams that bake for particular soldiers or units.  Each baker can choose to join as many or few teams as they like.  You get a brief description of the person you are baking for (as well as likes and dislikes) and send the boxes directly to that person (part of joining the organization is a promise that you will not share names or addresses with anyone).  If you like to bake, it's a fulfilling organization to be a part of  .... give the website a look (the link is above) for a more complete description of how the process works.

Contents of a typical Baking Gals box that I sent out - I always try to include a book and this particular soldier wanted nuts, so there was also a can of cashews included - the rest are homemade cookies and candies.

#98 - Surprises by post

It's a wonderful sort of feeling to open your mailbox and find something personal there - a letter or package rather than bills or catalogs.  Even better is when that something comes out of the blue.  My family is particularly great about sending little surprises like this - and I try to reciprocate.

However, as fun as it is to trade care packages with my family, it's also nice to occasionally reach out to friends who don't expect anything.  A box of cookies, a movie, a book have all made their way to various people who weren't expecting anything for any reason.  I hope that each small box made someone's day brighter!

#78 - Sharing a secret

Sometimes it's wonderful to share something that's bothering you with a close friend and get "absolution" from worrying about it anymore.  My friend Nina is wonderful for this ... she's even recently learned the Latin phrase for "I absolve you" to make it sound even more official!  She's wiser than I and has learned that a lot of the little day to day things that individuals fret over just don't matter that much in the long run.  She even will absolve perfect (and imperfect) strangers, so if you're in Ely and need rid yourself of some guilt, stop by the Kess Gallery.  I think they need to advertise it - fine art, framing, jewelry, absolutions with no waiting.

However, other times, you just need to get something out of your soul where it's been festering and out into the world, but you don't really want to share it with anyone you know for whatever reason.  Perhaps that's why people used to throw bottles with messages into the sea.  Nowadays, you can use a postcard to the same effect.  The very interesting site - Post Secret - takes anonymous postcard submissions from ... well, who knows.  The postcards are displayed on the site - fronts only.  I don't go look at the site often, but when I do - there are always some that make me laugh and others that make me weep (sometimes because I recognize myself in them).

Today, I mailed in a secret ... I feel a little better about it already.  Like the secret attached itself to the postcard and is leaving too.  If you want to send one in yourself, the address is:
Post Secret
13345 Copper Ridge Rd
Germantown, Maryland 20874
Your secret will be anonymous, treated respectfully, and maybe you'll feel a little better when it's gone.

#91 - Just say no!

I'm sure for some people this goal would be laughably easy - to say no to 5 things that I really would rather not take part in.  However, I have, in the past, found myself doing many things as favors, going places I didn't really care about, or generally spending my time in a way that I didn't particularly enjoy simply to try to make someone else happy.  While I do still believe that a person should compromise for people that they are close to, I've realized in the last few years that's okay to occasionally say "I don't wanna ..."  Also, there's the consideration of who you compromise for ... friends, family, lovers all should be able to pick things and expect your participation.  Casual acquaintances and work associates, though, should not have the power to make you feel guilty about whatever it is they want to do and you don't.

I'm not going to list the 5 things I declined ... don't want anyone to feel bad as three were social invitations.  I did find that as I said no and thought about this goal, I became more okay with other people saying no to my invitations as well.  So, good lessons learned all around.

#20 - Fabulous people in my life

The hardest part of sending notes to ten people in my life tell them how fabulous they are was choosing which ten individuals got the notes.  The second most difficult part was trying to find words that adequately summed up how much I admire them and why.

When I wrote this goal on the list, I had envisioned something more along the lines of sending pick-you-up notes to ten of my friends that I'm really close to with a laundry list of their special qualities.  As I sat down to start writing, the project turned into choosing ten people - each with a fabulous trait - that I am proud to have as a part of my life and wanted to thank in a succinct fashion.  The choices I made really taught me what I value in other people and the ideals that I aspire to in myself.

When it comes to having people in my life who are fabulous, I could have easily included every member of my family (but chose only one sibling) and triple the number of friends.  I am very fortunate indeed in the people who surround me.  However, I'd like to introduce whoever is reading this blog to ten (nine unnamed for their own privacy and because most of the letters are still in the mail) wonderful people in my life in the order that I met them.

First, my brother Tim who has put up with this pesky little sister for a long time, gave her wheelbarrow rides, fixed her cars, does the majority of the physical labor for our aging parents, and quietly fixes mundane problems so smoothly that you forget they even existed in the first place.  He is like the air we breathe, we don't realize it's there until it's gone and things go terribly wrong.

Second,  a very dear friend of mine from before, during, and after my school days.  His life is an tutorial for being a good friend - share everyday pleasures, listen when someone's down, make their path smoother.  I don't think we sometimes realize how much we need everyday heroes like him.

Third, a friend from elementary school and junior high that I reconnected with a couple of years ago.  While I have many fond memories of her, what really impresses me is how she's become an artist who generously and compassionately shares the work of others.

Fourth, one of my college roommates who among her many fine qualities has a knack for being courageously forthright and sticking to her principles with integrity.

Fifth, an individual who is an uber-friend - she has so many talents and gives to others in numerous ways; I could write a whole post just about the wonderful things that she has done for me.  Her special gift, though, is encouraging people to be themselves without guilt -- I can see people blossom when she touches their life.

Sixth, a friend who is like the bubbles in champagne.  She's always full of compliments and makes groups lively.

Seventh, a friend who is one of the most courageous individuals that I know.  She took stock of her life several years ago, decided what she wanted, and has taken some huge steps (that would probably be outside of the comfort zones of many people) to make those goals a reality.

Eighth, a friend who makes a fabulous partner for adventures.  She's intrepid, not bothered by minor annoyances, and always up for a new experience.

Ninth, someone whose faith that there is a purpose behind all things is rock-solid.  She finds the silver lining in bad situations and encourages others to ride out the storms of life.

Tenth, a new friend who offers no apologies for her obsessions.  Instead, she promotes them as what makes her an individual and has found a way to make one of them contribute to earning her livelihood.

#15 - Random Acts of Kindness

For the last month, I have made an concerted effort to spread kindness into the world.  I don't know if anything I did was a success for anyone else, but it certainly made me think about all of the advantages that I enjoy in my own life.  After my week of not complaining, I decided that working on this goal would make a nice antidote for the struggle to keep my mouth shut about minor annoying things - sort of attacking the negativity problem from the other end. 

My self-imposed rules for this project were:

• if a person asked for something, the action didn't count - I had to be moved to do whatever it was of my own accord
• if I knew that a person needed/wanted/would like to have something but they didn't ask, the action did count
• I had to do at least one action per day, multiple kind deeds could not be stored for the next day
• things that I would have done anyhow, but were not asked for, counted

The hardest days were those that I had off from work simply because I tend to become a hermit during "staycation" moments - mostly as a way to let my introvert personality recharge after working with the public regularly.  However, I did find ways to make the world a little brighter every day.  The easiest days were those that I spent out running errands; this was not something I expected, but I guess sometimes it is easier (or less potentially embarrassing) to do something for a stranger.  I thought that my days working with the public would be the easiest; however, the first rule knocked down most of the nice things that I did as part of my work hours because someone asked me to do them.

Among the items I tried to do (and, yes, I kept a list) there are some stand-outs.

• There were several days when I shoveled snow for a neighbor who has been having some health problems.  
• A whole string of entries on the list included giving cookies to people - this is a big thing for me this time of the year, but I decided that it counted.  I not only give cookies to friends and work associates, I also make up plates that I hand out to random people who use the library who I know could use some cheering up for one reason or another.  Those plates go fast - I gave out 25 in two days this year.  
• I tried paying ahead twice; by this I mean paying at least a portion (or all) of the bill for the next person in the checkout line - it's hard to know what the next total will be.  The worker at the drive-thru window at Arby's took it in stride with the comment of "that's really nice of you".  However, the grocery store clerk looked at me like I was insane when I tried to explain it to her.  The more I thought of the disparity in reactions, the sadder it seems ... everyone needs to buy groceries, so I could have really been helping someone out (given the date and time I was shopping that was actually extremely likely), yet my gut feeling is that most people who get drive-thru fast food can probably afford it.  
• The most truly random thing on the list was leaving Operation Beautiful notes in different spots in town.  I have no idea who saw them.  Operation Beautiful is a movement to boost self esteem for women; check out their site here.  This was the cheapest, quickest, most anonymous thing I tried (on more than one day); I hope it made someone's day.  
• This morning, as the last day of my month, I sent flowers to my parents with a note saying how much I appreciate them.  I'm sure this last act will brighten their day immensely ... a good way for me to end my goal.

I loved this goal; although some days I was wondering in the late afternoon what I was going to be able to add to the list, I always came up with something nice to do.  I spent time thinking about the "no complaints" week I had recently finished and concluded that it's easier for me to be positive by doing something kind for another person than by trying not to complain.  I often found that being nice to the next person who happened along was just as effective in relieving stress and frustration as venting.  And there were some "karma moments" along the way ... I had never seen another actual Operation Beautiful note, but, last night, I went to a play and there was one on the bathroom mirror.  One of my friends came over to walk with me and brought her shovel to use on my sidewalk - it would have been a wonderful treat after all the shoveling I had been doing, but, alas, I had already finished it - thank you for the thought Amanda!  And my friend Nina took over my two least favorite holiday baking associated tasks - unwrapping candies and helping with packaging the final products - she deserves the "queen of repetitive tasks" award and huzzahs and alleluias. 

#77 - No complaints!

"Complain - to express grief or distress; to lament; to express dissatisfaction; to make a formal accusation" - from New Expanded Webster's Dictionary 1988 edition

It sounded really easy when I wrote it down - not to complain about anything verbally or in writing for a week - I found it was more challenging to actually do.  I started my "week" for this goal on four separate occasions, and, on the first three tries had to start again when my tongue moved faster than my brain's edit function!  However, I'm very glad that I had it on the list because I spent quite a bit of time pondering why it's so easy to be negative in daily life.  (And the fact that it was more difficult than I expected makes me prouder of being able to cross it off my list).

The only day that felt easy was the first one (Sunday) - probably because I was not working and only talked briefly on the phone to one person.  Then the challenge set in ... minor irritations at work, a funky schedule including a meeting on my day off, the tail end of my cold making me crabby, a plumbing project on Saturday that had a few glitches, etc.

I also realized on Monday that I needed to give myself a clearer definition of complaining.  There is a large grey area between the whining of "I'm tired.  I'm cold.  I don't want to be here." and legitimate critiquing that may be required to get through your day - for example, I often am asked at work my personal opinion of books and movies by patrons who are trying to decide what they might like to borrow.  I decided that specific criticism in the line of work that was kept impersonal was okay (ex. "there was a lot of violence that didn't seem to add to the plotline") while vague potshots were not (ex. "it was disgustingly bloody").

Then there was the dilemma of commiserating with someone else who was complaining.  If I agree, does that make me a complainer too?  I decided that smiling, nodding, and interjecting supportive comments was okay.  That may be sophistry, but it's what I went with.  And, I was glad to have made that decision on Monday afternoon because there were two occasions on Thursday where I was in that situation.

The biggest eye-opener of this whole experiment was how much everyone is unhappy in their daily lives.  I spent four of my five work days this week at a public service desk, and I think that somewhere between two thirds and three quarters of the people I talked to complained about something - mostly the weather (both too cold and too hot) or something related to the election on Tuesday.  Of the literally hundreds of complaints that I heard this week, only two were something that I could do something about directly (noise level and a favor for another city department head on a matter concerning both of our departments).  Wow!!!  Should we all just suck it up more and put on a happy face or does something really need to change in our society?

I had wondered, during the week, if I would feel the need for a major venting session with a friend today.  I don't.  I can remember some of the irritations of the week that I probably would have complained about at the time, but only one is still annoying me.  And, I'm sure that one will fade in a few days too.  As the week went by, it became easier to tell myself to stop the negative cycle and just go with whatever was happening.  I'm hoping that this week set the habit of personally complaining a bit less about things I can't change and accepting them as they are instead.

#6 - Exploring London Alone

I love to travel.  However, before this trip it has always involved either going somewhere with someone else, or going somewhere to visit someone, or work-related activities (which isn't really travel at all - just sitting in conference center rooms listening to speakers).  So, this trip was definitely a good stretching experience for me; rather than waiting for someone else to have the time and money to accompany me, I just went.

The St. Pancras train station was less than a block from my hotel which made moving about London very easy.

I found it interesting as I prepared that so many people said something along the lines of "how nice it will be for you to go alone and not have to compromise what you want to do or when you want to do things".  I guess that's not something that's been a problem for me in the past - I don't mind splitting up from a travel partner for an afternoon so that we can both see what we want - and, as a single person, it certainly isn't a novelty for me to do things alone when I'm at home.   I guess I should take those comments as a reminder to be mindful of the freedoms that I already experience.

I visited St. Paul's Cathedral on the morning of my first full day in London.

The trip itself was mostly packed with good experiences ... four West End shows, many major museums and art galleries, lots of walking through streets packed with architectural wonders, and time to think about all things I saw.  The last time I visited London, I was thinking about the Tudor and Regency periods, but this time I spent much of my time considering the Blitz and the Victorians.  I would recommend the story "Fire Watch" by Connie Willis to anyone visiting St. Paul's Cathedral; it makes climbing up to the outer galleries and thinking about December 29, 1940 incredibly powerful.

The Millennium Bridge is very popular around lunch time.

Some of this trip's "bests" include the following:

• best visual effects in a West End show - tied between the animals brought to life by costumes and puppetry in The Lion King and the way Coney Island emerges from the shadows of the past in the first scene of Love Never Dies
• best lunch - cream of carrot and potato soup with herb bread at Cafe in the Crypt, St. Martins in the Fields
• best people watching moment - Asian tourists taking each other's photos in front of antiquities in the British Museum without actually looking at the display ... it was all about the photo shoot
• best "it's a small world" moment - bumping into a high school classmate I hadn't seen in 20 years who was on my flight from Heathrow to Minneapolis
• art that spoke to me the most- a medieval carved staircase with attached balconies in the V & A
• best "touching history" moment - being able to actually hold 6 historical artifacts at the British Museum - a Stone Age hand axe, dolphin teeth necklace, 13th century Persian tile, pipe from Ghana, Greek lykthos (perfume jar) from around 400 BC, and a peg covered in cuneiform writing taken from the ziggurat at Ur around 2100 BC - I felt like Indiana Jones



The wonderful historian at the British Museum who was running the touch history station.

I really didn't have any truly bad moments in the trip.  A few frustrations included a shop (where I had hoped to buy some gifts for friends) that had moved,  a museum that I wanted to visit had closed (guess I should have gone when I was in London six years ago), and trying to get on and off the tube during rush hour as I hate pushing my way through crowds.  It was oddly peaceful being alone in a crowd of people.

The roses were still blooming in Hyde Park.

It's great to be back home, but I can't wait for my next trip...with or without a companion.

By Trafalgar Square ... this is the only photo of myself that I have from the trip; I exchanged cameras with a British couple there, and we took photos of each other with Nelson's Column in the background.

#92 - Things I Do Well

This list came from a number of inspirations.  One was a list that I kept during a particularly dark period of my life where I wrote down each day something that I liked about myself - not necessarily things that I excel at, just good that I saw in myself.  Another was a revelation that a friend shared with me that she reached a point in her life where she realized that just because a particular task came easily to her did not mean that everyone shared that ability.  And, yet another is the continual surprise of working at a public service desk and realizing how different people are from one another.

So, here are 25 things that I think I do well:

1. Establish healthy routines for myself – morning walks, journaling, cooking real meals, etc
2. Stack books (to amazing heights)
3. Pet sitting
4. See both sides of a situation (this has its drawbacks)
5. Fire starting with one match
6. Organize stuff
7. Grow tomatoes – why do I keep planting them?  I don’t even really like them and I always get tons
8. Read – high speeds, good retention
9. Take standardized tests – doesn’t effect my life as much as it used to
10. Come up with analogies to help explain things
11. Plan ahead and follow through
12. Show up on time (or early) for meetings, etc.
13. Find / make meaningful gifts for people I care about
14. Can visualize the final result of a project (in 3D) that I am just starting
15. Give awesome backrubs
16. Fierce loyalty to the people that I claim as friends
17. Can make perfectly swirled soft-serve ice cream cones
18. Read body language
19. Honor small home-grown traditions/celebrations of the little things in life – for example, first snow doughnuts
20. Problem solving
21. Match colors
22. Remember my dreams which are fabulous, colorful, and could be used as plots for feature movies
23. Give book recommendations that match the interests of the reader rather than just my own
24. Pick up the ability to do crafts competently in a short time period
25. Bake cookies

#52 - Bucket List

When I was working on my challenges list, I had exactly one item in the back of my mind that would fit into a bucket list -- the goal of visiting all seven continents before I die.  There's a quote in L. M. Montgomery's book Anne of Windy Poplars that sort of sums up my desire to travel "I want to know ... not just believe ... that the earth is round."  I want to see all those places that I've read about ... and I read a lot ... or at least the ones that actually exist (or have in the past).

Now, obviously, I have more varieties of things on my bucket list than just travel.  I'm up to almost 20 items now; however, I've decided only to share on this blog those items that relate to going places, seeing and experiencing new cultures, etc.  Many of the other things on the list seem a bit too personal to share on a public blog.

So, before I die, I'd like to:

• visit all seven continents
• see the following historical places / wondrous things with my own eyes
• the Pyramids in Egypt
• the Coliseum in Rome
• the Parthenon in Athens
• Hadrian's Wall in Britain
• Venice
• the Liberty Bell
• the redwood forests of the Pacific Northwest
• Mount Rushmore
• the site of Troy
• Take an overnight train trip
• Go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans
• Stay at least overnight in a castle
• Take a walking tour vacation